I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
