so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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