Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
