you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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