Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting

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  (847): I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting http://tfl.nu/4np3
  Replies (1) Good night (904) Bad night (490)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?

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  (216): ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex? http://tfl.nu/h39u
  Replies (30) Good night (738) Bad night (4746)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?

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  (617): why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency? http://tfl.nu/lb38
  Replies (35) Good night (3293) Bad night (621)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair

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  (610): I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair http://tfl.nu/hvec
  Replies (25) Good night (1198) Bad night (3530)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Four minutes until I can fart!

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  (985): Four minutes until I can fart! http://tfl.nu/u0vh
  Replies (11) Good night (1137) Bad night (3340)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.

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  (985): any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window. http://tfl.nu/e2g8
  Replies (14) Good night (4105) Bad night (694)
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  (760): View more from California

  when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.

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  (760): when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice. http://tfl.nu/5xpe
  Replies (21) Good night (7279) Bad night (1661)
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  (760): View more from California

  She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.

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  (760): She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome. http://tfl.nu/43xh
  Replies (8) Good night (3288) Bad night (980)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone

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  (704): there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone http://tfl.nu/ttuj
  Replies (3) Good night (2811) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often

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  (605): We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often http://tfl.nu/nvi7
  Replies (2) Good night (941) Bad night (429)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.

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  (418): You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar. http://tfl.nu/ds06
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (370)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think we have a problem.

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  (814): I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom. (724): I think we have a problem. http://tfl.nu/1uid
  Replies (5) Good night (554) Bad night (1568)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not

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  (717): C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not http://tfl.nu/iniv
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (310)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.

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  (780): You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic. http://tfl.nu/85dj
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (477)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.

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  (416): Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused. http://tfl.nu/e1qy
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (240)

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