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I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Randomize
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