Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
I have to watch that.
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I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
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You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana