Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony