But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
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please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.