Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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