Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  No...more like a life jacket.

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  (603): Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet? (1-603): No...more like a life jacket. http://tfl.nu/4uwt
  Replies (8) Good night (1692) Bad night (758)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."

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  (703): The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am." http://tfl.nu/b7uw
  Replies (18) Good night (6401) Bad night (777)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...

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  (806): Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can... http://tfl.nu/qmq9
  Replies (21) Good night (668) Bad night (3100)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.

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  (918): Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building. http://tfl.nu/yoz8
  Replies (44) Good night (6220) Bad night (862)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry

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  (301): I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry http://tfl.nu/c00a
  Replies (22) Good night (4663) Bad night (860)
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  (562): View more from California

  he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...

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  (562): he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out... http://tfl.nu/eghd
  Replies (62) Good night (808) Bad night (8372)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"

  (571): View more from Virginia

  you make me proud to be your friend

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  (703): Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe" (571): you make me proud to be your friend http://tfl.nu/nyf8
  Replies (65) Good night (4879) Bad night (767)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.

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  (978): I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver. http://tfl.nu/zig6
  Replies (6) Good night (1214) Bad night (2338)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?

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  (630): hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night? http://tfl.nu/6bu9
  Replies (5) Good night (2188) Bad night (964)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake

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  (423): I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake http://tfl.nu/x2me
  Replies (5) Good night (923) Bad night (2292)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.

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  (330): All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule. http://tfl.nu/83wx
  Replies (5) Good night (2267) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order

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  (443): Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order http://tfl.nu/s460
  Replies (4) Good night (1268) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.

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  (931): Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close. http://tfl.nu/0xt0
  Replies (3) Good night (991) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time

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  (262): And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time http://tfl.nu/233l
  Replies (0) Good night (661) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.

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  (512): I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like. http://tfl.nu/zkry
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (623)

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