i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The power of my boobs compel you