All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me