it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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