I wish I could punch you in the face.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
