Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate

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(941): View more from Florida

you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer

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(718): View more from New York

I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.

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19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me

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(443): View more from Maryland

I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns

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(228): View more from Mississippi

He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.

(+31): View more from The Netherlands

3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one

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