I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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