Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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