So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
