So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
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advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
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That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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