I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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