Need sex. Gaining weight.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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