I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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