in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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