I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
