I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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