She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
