i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
