HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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