Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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