why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
