Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize