I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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