i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
