Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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