just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
