I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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