omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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