If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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