there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
