Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
