but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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