Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
