No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
