Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
