so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
