Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
