im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
