What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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