if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
