I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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