I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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