i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
