i already hear my dad disowning me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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