like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
