shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I wish I only lived at night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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