: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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