Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
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The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So here I am, sexting at work.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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