she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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