you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Who died my cat blue again?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
