I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
