I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
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Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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