you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
