well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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