Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
