didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
