Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
