what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
This toilet bowl is my home.
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