well you can't waste a boner
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
