I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize