I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
