if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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