just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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