remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
