hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
