we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Randomize
